By Kait Rayner
Not all criminals are remembered for being smart…
Captain Troy Elwell, Aiken County Sheriff's Office: “Occasionally, we do get the individuals that there is no way to describe it other than dumb crook.”
And, some of their crimes are just bizarre…
Sergeant Jake Mahoney, Aiken Department of Public Safety: “In 2004, we had a suspect enter the Security Federal Bank holding a four-foot long rusty pitchfork. He threatened the cashiers and staff of the bank and demanded money.”
Talk about pitching a fit…police say he got away with the cash, but he forgot his pitchfork.
Sgt. Mahoney: “He still remains at large today.”
It seems people will do just about anything for money…like in 2007. A 31-year-old man entered a bank and tried to open an account. To make his first deposit, he handed the clerk a one million dollar bill.
Capt. Elwell: “Of course, she told him it was fake and he started screaming and cussing.”
Deputies took him to jail and charged him with disorderly conduct.
Viewer: “That guy is crazy.”
Viewer: “Um, well in an economy like this, I don't blame him.”
More recently, there's the cross-dressing crook. A man dressed as a woman and tried to rob Porky Bradberry's Jewelry.
Porky Bradberry: “You could tell, without a doubt, that it was a man.”
The clerk shot the robber…the robber shot Bradberry and then the crook took off…leaving a trail of women's clothing behind.
Lieutenant David Turno, Aiken Department of Public Safety: “He got into the Aiken Estates neighborhood…it's a large neighborhood. He couldn't find his way out, he was driving around in different areas, tossing items out as he drove.”
It was not the best getaway.
Neighter is this one…well, depending on how you look at it. It was a stickup…literally.
Robbery suspect: “Put the damn money in the register.”
The robber covered his face with a towel, goes behind the convenience store register, strikes the clerk with a tree branch…and takes the money.
Clerk: “That was Ricky New! That was Ricky New!”
New then ran out of the store…and tried to make a getaway on his custom-built lawnmower. But…he didn't get very far. New was sent to jail and he's now serving 18 years for armed robbery…. with a stick.
Kait Rayner, reporting: “Just when police thought they saw the last of the stickup bandit. A letter arrived…addressed to the Sheriff.”
Capt. Elwell: “We received a drawing from the Aiken County Detention Center with a letter attached which says, 'Sheriff Hunt, can I have my ride back? I miss it so much. Please take care of it, I'll be out one day.' And there's a name on it, its Ricky New.”
Deputies can't be sure new sent it…but the drawing is almost identical to his lawnmower.
Capt. Elwell: “As soon as you think you've seen it all, somebody comes up with something else that you go, 'I don't think, you know, what they were thinking when they tried that.”